


Silent Night

by sleepysailors



Series: Modern Sprace [1]
Category: Newsies - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Deaf Racetrack Higgins, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-10-30 11:35:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17827796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepysailors/pseuds/sleepysailors
Summary: Modern Deaf!Race and Spot collect their Christmas baby. Because I can’t post in season.





	1. Chapter One

Race and Spot sat snuggled on the sofa, a cup of eggnog in their hands, admiring their tree. A quiet Christmas Eve to themselves was all either of them asked for this year. Gifts were wrapped, kisses were shared, but after the year they had had they just wanted to stay in. The day after Christmas they’d be hosting all of their friends for dinner and a gift exchange but tonight, tonight was just for them.

 

“Isn’t she beautiful,” Race whispered gazing at their first real tree. More than half of the needles had fallen off, how were they supposed to know you had to water it.

 

“Dehydrated and covered in tinsel. Reminds me of you at Pride,” Spot teased, threading his fingers through Racer’s curls, carefully avoiding his cochlear implant wire. Race stuck out his tongue blowing raspberries in response.

 

Around midnight, after the credits rolled on _Die Hard_ , they both headed off to bed in a sleepy silence. Spot tucked in first shortly followed by Racer curling into his chest.

 

Spot kissed him once on the forehead before lacing their fingers together. “ _Race_ ,” he felt the _R_ wiggle in his hand.

 

“Mmm?” Race asked too sleepy to properly respond.   

 

“ _I love you._ ” Spot signed, their hands still intertwined.

 

“Sap.” Race muttered before kissing the base of his throat “I love you too.” With that they both drifted off into an easy sleep.

 

Spot’s alarm went off far too early for his liking. He grumbled as the ungodly sound of the iPhone marimba filled the air. He laid there smacking at the screen hoping he’d hit snooze, when the voice of a woman came through the speaker. “Sean?” That woke him up. A quick glance at the screen told him it wasn’t his alarm it was a call from their social worker.

 

“Jen, good morning, merry Christmas.” He said sitting up rubbing at his eyes, instantly awake.

 

“Merry Christmas, Sean I know it’s early, but I just got the call and it’s time.”

 

“It’s time?” He parotted, the alarm clock next to him read 3:21.

 

“Tonya just called, her contractions are about 10 minutes apart, she’s on her way to-”

 

“It’s too early she’s not due for another week” Spot began panicking before shooting out of bed.

 

“A week one way or the other won’t make a difference,” She soothed, “I’m going to head over to the hospital around eight, he won’t be here for a while so get some more sleep while you can and I’ll meet you there then?”

 

Spot bit his finger to keep from crying out in joy and nodded before remembering she couldn’t see him. “We’ll be there.” He laid back down for a second considering waking Race up to tell him the news. Their son was on the way.

 

Get some sleep, he chided himself although every muscle was vibrating with joy. It only took a minute to realize there was no way he’d be able to sleep tonight. After a quick shower he paced about their small apartment fidgeting with things here and there, tidying it for their new son. “Alexa” he called out “Play christmas music everywhere.” Sure enough, in a second _Santa Baby_ was blasting throughout their home, one of the many perks of having a Deaf husband.

 

His last stop on his cleaning frenzy was the nursery. The pale grey room seemed like a tomb in their home for so long. He sat in the rocking chair slowly swaying back and forth. He wondered how different things would have been if their last adoption had went as planned. Christmas would not have been quiet, not with a four year old little girl running around. He closed his eyes for a second praying to whoever would listen that they wouldn’t hear those words again. ‘I’m sorry, the mother changed her mind. She’s keeping the baby.’ He hadn’t realized a tear had escaped the corner of his eye. Scrubbing it away he rose to fix the last few things in the baby’s room. He carefully lifted one of the tiny perfectly folded onesies, rolling the soft fabric between his fingers. “Please God, let us bring him home,” he begged before folding it and putting it back in the drawer.

 

They had chosen to keep this adoption a secret. To everyone. Not even Jack or Itey knew they had been in contact with a Birthmother for the past 6 months. Or that they had been silently struggling to keep the secret from escaping. However, neither Spot nor Race could deal with having to tell their friends and family one by one that the baby wasn’t coming home with them. They took care in making the changes to their home so subtle over the past few months that even if their world came crashing down again it would be easier to pack back up and put it back together.

 

A glance at the clock told him it was time to wake Race if they were going to make it by eight. Spot shimmed into the one corner of the bed Racer didn’t occupy as he starfished across it. He made quick work of rubbing his husbands back and placing soft kisses to his forehead. “ _Race._ ” he wiggled in his hand again calling out his name. Racer squoze his fingers three times their own personal sign for five more minutes. But Spot was unrelenting. Realizing he was getting nowhere with soft touches he gave him a good shake causing him roll away and smack Spot off of him, taking away Spot’s luxury of signing into his hands.

 

Spot crossed the room picking up Racer’s implant before clicking in the battery pack, waiting for the green light before he carried out his plan. He took to gently scratching Racer’s scalp, finding his little bump and hooking his ear up for him. The burbling of the implant waking him up. “What do you want,” he snapped, annoyed.

 

“The baby’s coming,” Spot smiled.

 

_That_ got his attention Race jumped up out of bed, the processor bouncing on the side of head, “We have to go, like now. When’d it start? Is he here?” Race stopped dead in his tracks fear plastered on his face, “Spot we don’t have gifts for him to open!” He panicked pacing about, pulling his shoes on over his bare feet, still in his pajamas.

 

“Shh, shh,” Spot soothed grabbing his wrists and making him stop moving for once in his life, he tucked his processor around his ear and gently caressed his cheek “We’re meeting Jen at 8, at the Starbucks in the hospital.” Race snapped his head checking the clock they had two whole hours to wait.

 

Racer lived up to his nickname, frantically dashing through the tunnels of the subway. Spot hot on his tail. The meeting with the social worker went quickly enough. Then it was time to wait… Again.

 

Race hated waiting. For anything. Waiting for his order at the deli was hard enough, but waiting for this? This was agony. His hands shook, with nerves or excitement he wasn’t sure. Spot eased Racer’s head onto his shoulder in a calming embrace, neither of them sure what to say or how to say it.

 

Racer’s nerves got the best of him as his anxiety over boiled “What if,” he started. He didn’t know if they’d survive if the birth mother changed her mind. He couldn’t bring himself to breathe such a probability into the world. Yet Spot looked at him knowingly for the same fear plagued him too. “What if it’s a girl?” Race changed the subject, “We don’t have a name picked for a girl.”

 

“That’s what you want to worry about?” Spot teased, before humoring him. “We could go with something classic like Linda or Karen.”

 

“You know it’s gonna come out a baby and not a 50 year old white woman who works in HR right?” Race scoffed, “We could always go with Brooklyn seeing as you’re the king of that.” He teased remembering the last time he had got the call that Spot had one too many to drink. Race found him and Itey attempting to scale the Brooklyn bridge as he crowned himself King of Brooklyn. He spent the rest of the night only responding to “your majesty” and declaring everyone they walked passed peasants before vomiting down his shirt.

 

Spot opened his mouth to respond when one of the doctors came out and approached their social worker. They sat staring at the pair, waiting for the information to come their way. Jen smiled and nodded along to what the woman was saying before approaching the two. “It won’t be long now, she’s getting ready to push.” She smiled watching as both of of their shoulders relaxed. “You’ll be daddies in no time.”

 

With that Racer immediately tensed again. The reality of it finally hitting him. She excused herself to go get a round of water for them.

 

Spot turned to Race noticing his nerves and his blue eyes wide as saucers. “Hey,” he soothed his hands speaking as well, “Babe talk to me.”

 

Racer’s hands shook violently as all his doubt crashed down on him at once, “Spottie I- I can’t do this.”

 

His heart leapt into his throat. “What do you mean, we’ve been waiting for this for seven years. We’ve done the classes and the home visits and the background checks and everything.”

 

Racer tried to steady his breathing as all the worries of becoming like his father bubbled up in his throat. His eyes were far away, transported back into a world of yelling and pain. “I can’t.” He whispered

 

Spot squeezed his hand bringing him back to the here and now. “You can, I promise you. We can do anything together.” Race nodded along clinging to the words, Spot had never broken a promise in the past he wouldn’t start now.

 

At 11:11 a lullabye rang out softly over the intercom system. It was far too quiet for Race but to Spot it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Minutes later the same doctor appeared and crossed the room to them. They shot up out of their chairs, Race clung onto Spot as they both silently prayed for good news. The woman smiled, and their shoulders relaxed only a fraction of an inch. “It’s a boy.” She grinned, “he’s 7 pounds 8 ounces and 21 inches long.” They stayed clinging to each other waiting for the sentence they so desperately needed to hear. “The mother has already signed over her rights. Congratulations on your son.”

 

Racer crumpled into Spot’s arms sobbing into his shoulder if it was nerves or joy or excitement he wasn’t sure. Spot talked with the woman a moment thanking her while hugging Race close to him. After a moment to collect themselves they were lead into a back room, and there they stayed waiting. Race settled into the chair vibrating with anticipation. Each minute that ticked by felt like an hour.  Shortly after getting settled in a nurse rolled in a bassinet with the smallest baby either of them had ever seen. Clean. Swaddled. Perfect. Racer’s world stopped turning as he watched Spot gently lift the boy from the bed and place a kiss to his bright red cheeks. A sense of calm washed over him. He was perfect. A gift neither of them were worthy to have. Yet he was theirs.

 

“Tony?” Spot called out his hands to preoccupied to sign. Racer hadn’t realized how long he had been staring. “Do you want to hold him?” Spot didn’t wait for a reply and soon he was lowering the boy into his arms.

 

“I can’t.” Race choked out. But it was too late the baby was already settled. Too stunned to speak his hands shook as he held his son. He studied him so intently desperate to commit every inch of him to memory. His small round nose that turned up at the tip, lips that seemed too tiny to be real, bright red cheeks and dark blue grey eyes that turned in only slightly. The baby blinked up at him trying to gauge his surrounding. “Hi Patrick.” Racer breathed out the words so quietly, “it’s so nice to finally meet you.”

 

Spot took his place on the arm of the chair next to his husband. He pulled the blonds head closer to him pressing a kiss to his curls “Merry Christmas Racer.”

Race broke his attention from their son for only a second to return a kiss to Spot’s lips. “Merry Christmas Spottie.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Race is a Nervous Papa Bear

The rest of the day went by in a blur of paperwork and tests. But finally at the end of the night the three of them were discharged ready to start their life as a new family. It took mere minutes of being home for the fear to set in again. At home there were no doctors, no nurses, no social workers to talk them through each step of the process. The pair were entirely and completely alone, except for the bundle of pure unbridled id that lay between them. After a brief tour of the apartment the three settled in for a hopefully uneventful evening. No one was sure when Race had fallen asleep against Spot’s shoulder as Patrick laid diaper clad sleeping on Racer’s bare chest. 

 

Spot took gentle care rousing his husband, when he finally caught his bright blue eyes he signed “ _Let’s take him to bed._ ”

 

Race shifted slowly to not wake the baby, nevertheless Patrick let out a soft chuff followed by a short cry before settling in again. Racer froze in fear not wanting to wake the tiny time bomb on his chest. “You take him, I can’t do this.”

 

“ _Fine_ ,  _pass_ _him_ _here_.” Spot rolled his eyes in exhaustion.

 

“I can’t.” Race repeated, “Just take him, I’ll follow you.”

 

Spot sighed heavily before easing the baby off of him and carrying him to the nursery. The room no longer held the heaviness it did only mere hours earlier. It felt like it was always meant to be Patrick’s, that it was just waiting for him to come along. The two gently patted him as he settled into the bassent, swaddled, comfy and warm. After a bit of watching his chest steadily rise and fall, the two headed off to bed. Racer disappeared to brush his teeth and wash his face. He exited the bathroom and abandoned his CI in its designated bowl. Spot waved him to the bed he settled in quickly before Spot grabbed his wrist and attached a band to it.

 

Racer twisted and turned the band over looking for a watch face or something of the sort. “The hell is this?”

 

“ _Baby monitor._ ” Spot signed with a sly smile, “ _It’ll buzz if he cries. Found it on Amazon._ ” Spot stuck out his tongue at his small victory. They had always teased that Spot would have all the late night runs because of Racer’s ears, but this was a loophole he couldn’t worm his way out of. Spot shut off the lights with command to Alexa and laid down waiting for Race to take his place on his chest.

 

Race ghosted his fingers gently over the band falling in love with the feats of modern technology. He knew in a few hours he’d hate it but for now, something as simple as being woken by his baby was no longer unaccessible. “I love it.” He muttered pulling Spot’s lips to his. “And I love you.”

 

Spot smiled as their lips pressed together and signed into Racer’s hand, “ _Sap._ ”

 

Around 3am the magic of the band disappeared completely as it buzzed relentlessly against Racer’s wrist. “Spot.” He whined just before seeing Spot grab his pillow and shove it over his head. Race sighed in defeat before crossing the room and attaching his CI. The wails coming from down the hall were piercingly loud even from afar. He crept down the hall rubbing at his eyes wiping the sleep out of them. He paused at the door of the nursery gently knocking first, unsure of proper baby etiquette. “Hey little man,” he called out.

Patrick’s wails didn’t falter for a second.

Race picked him up gently bouncing him back and forth, “You know that’s a lot of noise for such little lungs.” Race teased as he disconnected his implant, sighing in relief as he tossed it into the bowl. “Scream all you want my man, I ain’t going nowhere.”

 

He carried the baby through their home, bouncing him as the bottle heated up. Babbling nonsense to the boy. His body worked in a mechanical fashion like it had been programed to do this all along. Before even realizing what he was doing he was rocking a now silent boy with a bottle in his mouth. “See buddy boy, you’se were just hungry huh? You know I used to drink a whole bottle in one go too. But you’ll learn all about college later.”

 

Patrick’s eyes sparkled with tears as he gazed up at his father.

 

“Yeah, that’s where I met your daddy.” He allowed his pinky to drift away from the bottle it was instantly wrapped in the worlds smallest fist.

 

He dropped his voice to a whisper as those perfect eyes watched him speak. “You know what’s crazy?” Race asked before stopping and waiting for a response, “It seems like yesterday we were just dumb kids jumpin’ off bridges, hoppin’ moving trains lookin’ for any kind of adventure. And now… well now we’re yours. And your our new adventure. Scariest one yet I gotta tell ya.”

 

Spot sat up in bed listening to his husbands monologue filter through the baby monitor. He silently thanked God that everything was working out.

 

Patrick’s eyes began closing down as he spit up a little milk, Race gently shifted him to his shoulder draped in a cloth and burped him. He grimaced at the curdled spit up before bringing the bottle back to the infant's lips.

 

“That’s right buddy boot and rally. I do that too. Like father like son right?” Race stopped dead in his tracks bringing a shaking hand to his lips, not entirely convinced that he had spoken those words aloud. Father. He was a father. He ran a shaking hand through his hair tugging at it trying to ground himself to the moment. “Alright buddy, we gotta talk.” Race squared the baby on his lap. “Man to man.”

 

The voice filtering through the monitor shook with fear. Spot wanted so badly to go in and handle it himself but Race needed to get over this and the sooner the better.

 

“I ain’t been totally honest with you. I have no clue what I’m doing.” He let out a shuddering breath before collecting himself again. “I still cook 90% of my meals in the microwave and our plants all died over the holiday. I mean you ain’t seen many trees but they ain’t supposed to look like that. And really little man I have no idea how we’re ever gonna pay for whichever Ivy League school you graduate. I may not be good at this or confident like your daddy but I’m gonna make you a promise deal?”

With this Spot slowly got out of bed and crossed the apartment to eavesdrop on his husband.

 

“No matter what I’m gonna love you. With every ounce of me. And we’re gonna figure this out okay? I’m gonna be there learning right beside you. You’re probably gonna teach me way more than I can ever teach you.” He stopped again collecting himself. Taking in the small sleeping babe in his arms. “Look I’m always gonna be your biggest fan. And I promise you I’m always gonna show up. That’s probably the only thing that I’m really sure of.”

 

Racer didn’t realize when his voice had turned off and his hands had turned on. He couldn’t bring himself to voice it to swear he’d never be like his father. That he’d break the cycle and that the little bundle in his arms would want for nothing for the rest of his life. He didn’t realize when he had started crying until Patrick’s little nose scrunched up after a fat wet drop landed on his forehead. Racer reached up with his thumb wiping it away. He glanced around the room unsure of how long he had been up for but before he found a clock his eyes landed on Spot leaning against the doorway. “ _How long have you been there?_ ” Race signed not trusting his voice.

 

“ _Long enough_.” Spot crossed the room placing a hand on his shoulder “ _He’s pretty cute isn’t he?_ ”

 

“ _He’s perfect._ ” Race fluttered back before turning his attention back to the baby.

 

Spot waved once getting his attention, “ _Want me to put him back?_ ”

 

Race shook his head just wanting one more second to hold him before laying him down in the bassinet.

 

“ _Looks like you can do this after all._ ” Spot teased as they exited the nursery, earning him a slightly too rough of a hip check into the wall.

 

Race grinned, “For him, I can do anything.”

 

The two laid down in the still warm bed, curling into each other contentedly. A glance at the clock told Spot guests would be arriving in less than 12 hours.

 

“ _Race._ ” He wiggled into his hand. Spot was greeted with a soft hum in response “ _Did you tell Jack about Patrick yet?_ ”

 

Spot smiled as Race let out a deep sigh followed by a defeated, “Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adoption in the real world takes WAAAAAAAY longer but hospitals are boring and I wanted my boys to get home so it’s only a few hours. 
> 
> I borrowed some dialogue from Andy Grammars song Spaceship that I can 100% see jack singing to Katherine. 
> 
> Let me know what you think comments and kudos will be given a loving home!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By popular demand Jack meets his nephew with way more domestic fluff than anyone ever asked for

Mornings in general are hard. The first morning after being kept up half the night by a hungry infant are next to impossible. Spot and Racer slogged through their morning fog passing the baby back and forth between them as they waited for the coffee to kick in.

 

“ _Yo_ _u figure out how you’re going to tell Jack yet_ ,” Spot asked, his mouth busy sucking down his third cup of the morning.

 

“Nope,” Racer smiled in between bites of cereal. Patrick’s eyes were closing down again as he happily drank his third bottle of the day like the little Hobbit he was. “Did you tell Itey?”

 

Spot shook his head once pulling out his phone. He waved for Race to turn the baby towards him snapping, easily, the millionth picture of their son.

 

“You can’t text him this!” He laughed but Spot was too sleep deprived to be more tactful about the situation.

 

Spot read over the text once before hitting send. _We have a kid now. I’ll update you on it’s stats later. Keep it off social media. You’re the first to know._ Attached was the picture of a very exhausted Racer with cereal milk stuck to his chin and Patrick with formula stuck to his. He flipped the screen around showing Race it and ignoring the constant ding of replies from his best friend. 15 messages ranging from utter disbelief to _What do you mean stats??_ rang through in a matter of seconds.

 

“He’s going to kill you when he gets back to home.” Race grinned shifting Patrick to his shoulder to burp him.

 

“Jackie boy’s gonna kill you in a few hours.” Spot teased clearing their bowls from the table. “I’m kinda glad we got the good life insurance on ya.”

 

“You couldn’t survive without me.” He crossed the small kitchen placing a kiss to Spot’s temple before having Patrick taken from his arms.

 

“What do you say Patch? We take daddy’s life insurance check and spend it all before Uncle Itey takes me out too!” Spot’s voice always got an octave higher when he talked to him although he’d never admit it.

 

Patrick spit up some of his second breakfast in response.

 

Itey always spent the holidays in Los Angeles with his wife and her family so the repercussions wouldn’t come for a few more days. The reality of it was Jack was going to be at their home in a few short hours and as far as he was aware they were still a family of two with no plans to change that fact any time soon. Racer fiddled with his phone before typing out a vague message asking Jack and Kath to come over an hour early. He padded it with a small lie of never being able to get the mash potatoes quite right. Reading it over two, then three, and finally four times he deemed it a workable white lie.

 

Spot bounced around the kitchen balancing Patrick in one arm and potatoes in another. Race grabbed the turkey breast out of the fridge chuckling at the label.

 

“Something funny?” Spot grinned crossing the tiny kitchen to read what made him laugh.

 

“It's nothing.” Race waved him off cradling the wrapped turkey “Just weighs the same as him.” Sure enough the label read 7 pounds 8 ounces. Race bent down nibbling on Patrick’s tiny fist making kissy sounds, “You’se still the tastiest little turkey.”

 

Spot bit back a smile, how had such a little baby made them both lose their senses completely? It felt as if all three of their lives had started only a day ago. They were nothing before he came around and everything after. As Racer stood back up Spot couldn't help but bring their lips together. For the first time in a long time they were whole.

 

The morning went by in a rush of turkey breast, ham and vegan roast. The pair couldn’t help themselves cooing at every sound involuntary or otherwise that came from the small bassent they dragged into the living room. In no time the oven was set to keep warm, the apartment smelling of cloves, honey and whatever the vegan nonsense was. Crutchie would appreciate the effort, he always did. He was one of the good vegans, Spot had noted one evening. Crutchie always brought the tastiest dips made of cashews and magic, he never shamed others into not living his lifestyle and most importantly he still occasionally ate ice cream. Everyone has their own vices.

 

Around noon Race exited the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He wandered to the living room not wanting to get dressed, at least not yet. He scooped up Patrick unbuttoning the front of his sleeper recalling what the nurse had told them about skin to skin contact being of utmost importance. There they sat as he hummed absolute nonsense to the baby. Placing the softest of kisses to his velvety hair and drinking in the scent of new life. He always lost track of time when Patrick was near. It was impossible not to.

 

“Racer!” Spot called out from the bedroom, “You got your ears on?” The only correct answers to the question was “No” or silence. This time he was met with silence. Spot padded through looking for them finally finding them curled into each other. Both of their eyes closed, wrapped in the feeling of love and safety. Spot didn’t want to disturb them, either of them, but with Jack arriving in less than an hour it was needed. Spot rubbed Racer’s shoulders gently getting his eyes “ _Hey._ ” He signed before leaning in to kiss both of his boys heads.

 

“Hey.” Racer smiled back. Before Spot could give him a time warning he spoke again. “Can we give him a bath?”

 

Spot paused a little surprised by the question. “ _He’s a baby they don’t get dirty_.”

 

“He still smells like hospital.” That was enough of an explanation. He understood the weight that such a smell carried for him. The smell of antiseptics, cleaning solutions and fear. It was always a fight to get Racer even to the most mundane of doctors appointment because of the memories that smell elicited. Waking up in a silent world full of tubes and uncertainty.

 

Spot squeezed his hand running the other over Patrick’s impossibly soft skin before responding “ _Well get dressed and lets get him smelling like baby then, yes?”_

 

In no time the two were crowded around the bathroom sink lowering their son ever so slowly into it. Patrick came alive in the water. Gently stretching a curling every inch of him. Warm water had been all he had known the past nine months. He was happily at home in it. He scrunched his tiny face and clumsily stretched his little arms all while making the softest possible noises. Every movement, every coo was praised by the men standing above him, they were both so tightly wrapped around his little finger there was no hope in them ever being unwound again.

 

Shortly after he was clean, and dried and warm, Spot was preoccupied stuffing Patrick’s chubby fist into one of the few red onesies he had. The soft red flannel made him look like the world’s smallest lumberjack. He had moved on to the small black pants when Racer went digging in the dresser letting out a soft “Ah-ha!” as he held up what he was looking for.

 

“No.” Spot deadpanned.

 

“Please he’ll look so nice!” Racer begged holding the tiny set of suspenders.

 

“Absolutely not.” He argued but it was too late. Race had already began clasping them onto the pants and took the job of finishing dressing him.

 

He held Patrick out at arms length supporting his head with his thumbs. His tongue stuck out the corner of his mouth, a bit of drool was on his chin and his blue grey eyes had yet to focus on a single thing, “Doesn’t he look so dapper!”

 

“That… That is quite possibly the gayest thing I have ever seen.” Spot couldn’t help let out a chuckle.

 

“You’re married to me.” Racer adjusted him back into his arms.

 

“You’re a close second.” But Race was already preoccupied digging in the dresser again, “What now?” He sighed exasperated.

 

“He needs a bow tie!” With that Spot snatched the baby from his arms attempting to protect him from further primping. Five minutes later however a small clip on bow tie was attached to his little collar.

 

They both decided to lay him down in the nursery for a bit before everyone arrived. Seeing as his second day on the planet was about to be spent being passed from uncle to aunt he needed his rest.

 

Racer had only just begun rhythmically rubbing his small back when Spot poked his head into the nursery. “ _Jack’s at the door._ ” Ice water ran through his veins. He wasn’t sure what the fear was though it wasn’t easy to pinpoint. Fear of rejection wasn’t it but it was close enough.

 

Jack and Katherine came through the door arms laden with sweets, gifts, and whatever else they deemed necessary. Their daughter, Lilly fast asleep in the stroller they pushed. The four of them shared embraces and holiday wishes but when Jack pulled Race in for a hug he couldn’t help to notice him stiffen. Katherine noticed it too, not because she felt it but because her and Jack constantly read each other like an open book.

 

“Spot, be a dear and help me lay out the cookie tray hmm?” She asked effectively leaving Race and Jack alone for a moment.

 

Jack smiled at his little brother, taking in the way his hands shook slightly and he paled in, could it be embarrassment possibly worry?

 

“She all tuckered out from Santa?” Racer asked squatting down in front of the stroller to take in his niece. Her brown curls tied up in red ribbons were almost all that was visible after being so bundled up by her mother.

 

“She was up late at Kath’s parents and someone got it in her head Santa came two nights in a row she wanted to wait up for him again. We tried everything but, ya know when little miss puts her foot down.” Jack shook his head with a laugh “Well... that’s when ya see her mama shining through.”

 

It was true Jack and Katherine’s daughter had been a hellion from day one. She came out of the womb with Jack’s resilience and her mother's tongue. At one she put Spot to shame in being the most stubborn in the room. By two she argued with the grace of the most seasoned lawyer, now at “three and one quarter than you very much” she was her mother’s daughter. She was simply adored, by everyone. If her name sign so happened to be the same as “ _I love you_ ” it was just a mere coincidence.   

 

Racer smiled nodding along but not speaking again.

 

“You okay kid?” Jack asked feeling his forehead with the back of his hand, “you seem…off?”

 

“I-” He started, his voice cracking, it hadn’t done that in longer than the two of them could remember.  Spot crossed the room taking his trembling hand in his, this was his secret to tell. “We-” He started again before diving head first into it. “We have some uh some news.” He looked to Spot for validation, he nodded for him to continue. “Well you know we’ve been, we’ve been trying to adopt for well... forever?”

 

Jack nodded along as Katherine weaved her arm into Jack’s. His eyes twinkled at the thought, yet he patiently waited for him to drop the bomb not wanting to guess what it was.

 

Racer tried to speak again but the words caught in his throat.

“We tried conceiving naturally for a while but it just didn’t take.” Spot joked earning chuckles from Jack and Kath, but still not calming his husband completely.

  


Race nodded and swallowed thickly before continuing.“Umm we’ve been tryin’ to find the right people, the right folks after all that happened with Addy.” The name of their would be daughter still burned his lips. Racer took a deep breath before continuing “We just- we didn’t want to get everyone all excited again and...” He shook his head to clear his mind. “Anyway we-”

 

His words were cut short by a high pitched wail coming from the nursery in the back, the band buzzed violently on his wrist. Spot couldn’t help but grin as Katherine and Jack’s heads snapped up in unison.

 

Racer hurried off to the nursery collecting Patrick in his arms and placing a pinky in his mouth to silence his cries. He arranged the small bundle of blankets to hide the boys face, he always did have a flair for dramatics. After a few steadying seconds they made their way back to the foyer. “Sorry,” He smiled, “Guess he likes to introduce himself.”

 

“Oh.” It was Jack’s turn for his voice to crack. His breathing picked up as his knees shook under him threatening to give way any moment. “Oh my.”

 

Racer carried on as if he didn’t see the tears pooling in the corners of his brothers eyes. “Patrick, this is your uncle Jackie, and Jackie,” He pulled down the blanket revealing his sweet face, “This is our son. Patrick.”

 

Jack clapped a hand over his mouth crying out in utter disbelief. “You can’t- don’t- this isn’t the time for jokes Racer,” his voice cracking with emotions.  

 

“We picked him up yesterday.” Spot answered steadily.

 

“For real?” He smiled believing him for a second “if this is a joke-” he started before realizing his hands were wrapping around the bundle. Racer gently passed him the boy grinning with pride. “Hi- oh, oh hi baby.” Jack’s voice dropped to a whisper as the tears escaped his eyes.

 

Katherine bit back her own emotions guiding him to the couch in fear his legs might crumble underneath the weight of such news.

 

Jack wiped at his eyes slowly looking up, choking on his emotions, he finally squeaked out, “You better not be teasin’.”

 

Katherine wiped away one of his tears with her thumb. He was impossible not to love especially when he got this way around family matters. “I think they’re serious love.” She soothed, smoothing back a single strand of the infant’s hair. His eyes sparkled. Racer might be cruel enough for such a joke but Katherine, his Katherine would never play such a trick.

 

“He’s all ours Jackie Boy,” Spot confirmed laying a hand on his shoulder as Katherine enveloped them in hugs and kisses of congratulations finally letting her joy overflow as well.

 

Racer slid in next to Jack completely unnoticed. He was so far gone. “So-uh what do you think of Patrick?”

 

For the first time the name clicked, he was a whole person a person with a name and a life and a future. A future that Jack was fortunate enough to be apart of. With this realization Jack crumpled. Clutching the baby close to him, feeling the weight of him, the warmth of him, a small package of endless possibilities. Jack couldn’t help bring his soft forehead to his lips. “You’re such a lucky little guy.” He whispered.

 

“You okay Jackie?” Race asked quietly.

 

Jack wrapped an arm around his shoulder pulling him in tears still sparkling in his eyes, “I’m just- I never- lookit us. Lookit what you have.” He gestured to Patrick then to Spot. He was currently being bombarded with a thousand questions by Katherine as she unloaded their own sleeping toddler from the stroller. “We made it kid. We’se all grown up and you... You’se a father.” The words tingled on his lips. He beamed at his little brother with pride. How had he’d grown so much since they met in that dirty old group home. Swearing to each other under threadbare blankets that they’d make it out somehow. That they’d make it out together. That they’d have a family and a home and love. This wasn’t how they’d expected it to happen, but some dreams even the most far fetched ones will come true. “I’m just so proud of you is all.”

 

Racer stopped for a second. Gently reaching out and tracing his sons delicate features before taking in the scene around him. Ten years ago this was all a crazy dream. A home full of warmth and love, more food than any person could want, a solid roof over their heads and a perfect family to tie it all together. He let his head fall onto Jack’s shoulder. “Thanks, it looks like you were right all along.” He gestured at Lilly unbundled in her Uncle Spot’s arms, and Katherine quietly laughing at a joke, “Merry Christmas Jackie.”

 

“Merry Christmas Race.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think thats a wrap people! Please let me know what you think! Comments and kudos will be given a kind and loving home
> 
> I was gonna write about Crutchie meeting the baby as well, but I couldn't write 5 whole minutes of shrieking...

**Author's Note:**

> I have horrible baby fever so you all get to read my garbage! Enjoy! Let me know what you think!


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